Calvin, Hobbes & Mitch McConnell

    Mitch McConnell (R-KY)  Senate Majority Leader  as of January 2015     Washington Post 11.4.14

    Mitch McConnell (R-KY) Senate Majority Leader as of January 2015     Washington Post 11.4.14

Calvin and Hobbes ©Bill Watterson

Calvin and Hobbes ©Bill Watterson

• "Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance."  —H.L. Mencken

“Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.” —Martin Luther King, Jr.

• “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” —George Carlin

• “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.” —wall poster by Despair, inc. 

Calvin and Hobbes ©Bill Watterson

Calvin and Hobbes ©Bill Watterson

• “Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?” —Calvin and Hobbes/Bill Watterson

• “Stupidity has a knack of getting its way.” —Albert Camus

Is Flying Fun Yet?

john grimes cartoon grimescartoons.com fizzdom.com

• "We'll be boarding in about five airline minutes." —comedian David Steinberg (thx Leah Garchik)

• "If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.” —Southwest flight attendant

• Watch mesmerizing world air traffic animation (Zurich School of Applied Sciences / Airboyd): 

• Learn (someone's) airline lingo (Reader's Digest):

> Blue juice: Water in the toilet 
Crotch watch: Seat belt check
> Crumb crunchers: Kids 
Deadheading: Airline employee flying as a passenger on company business
> Gate lice: People clustering at gate right before boarding 
> George: Autopilot
Landing lips: Applying lipstick before landing
> Pax: Passengers
> Spinners: Late-boarding passengers without seat assignments who spin around looking for seats
> Two-for-once special: Bumping once on first contact, then landing smoothly
> Working the village: Attendants working in coach

• Watch and listen to this U.S. air traffic animation (NASA/Airboyd):

• Factoids (Tristan Rayner, techly.com):

> “If the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15 minutes of oxygen from the point of pulling them down ... more than enough time for the pilot to take us to a lower altitude where you can breathe normally.” —@jezalenko

> "Planes get hit by lightning (almost once a year) ... The last crash attributed to lightning was in 1967." —Lightning Technologies

> “Pilots don’t get the same meal and can’t share in case one makes them sick (from food poisoning).” –@Wrestlingisgood

> “When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights in case you need to evacuate upon landing … your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness so you’ll be able to see better once outside the plane.” —@bonestamp

> “The air you breathe on an airplane is ... clean air from the atmosphere (taken in through the engines) compressed to a normal atmospheric pressure, and fed through a complicated heating/cooling system. That’s why planes have very dry air – there’s no moisture in the air at nine kilometres above sea level, but modern planes try to add moisture via humidifiers ... The air leaves the airplane via a small hole in the back of the fuselage.” –@virgadays

• "Today’s planes are ... pressurized so you only feel like you’re about 6,000 to 8,000 feet above sea level ... numb your taste buds, making food taste blander ... Salty and sweet tastes are significantly impaired in the air. Bitter and umami (savory) tastes survive better." —Julie Beck, “Why Airline Food is So Bad,” Atlantic

• "If black boxes survive air crashes, why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?" —George Carlin

• Breaking News: "United flight diverted after passengers fight over legroom"

"A  woman and a man  — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were  at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat , preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip,  Washington Post 

"A woman and a man — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat, preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip, Washington Post 

• Final factoids (Reader's Digest):

> If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon. —Jerry Johnson, pilot

> The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place is in the back.

> You'll never hear, "One of our engines just failed. What they’ll say instead: 'One of our engines is indicating improperly.' "

> For most people who get sick after air traveling, it's not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch.

• Laugh with comedian Brian Regan:

George Carlin Knows Who's Crazy

fizzdom.com George Carlin knows the sexes  women crazy men stupid harder she works joan crawford axe

• Celebrating George Carlin on his birthday 5.12.37 (died June 22, 2008)

• "I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

• "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."

• "At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."

•  "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth." — George Carlin (relevant to ad above)

• "Carlin's material falls under one of three self-described categories: "the little world" (observational humor), "the big world" (social commentary), and the peculiarities of the English language (euphemisms, doublespeak, business jargon), all sharing the overall theme of (in his words) "humanity's bullshit." (wikipedia)

• "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

• Note: "The harder a wife works, the cuter she looks" is not a Carlin quote, but that doesn't mean it's not true. 

Driving with George Carlin

fizzdom comedian george carlin driving slower idiot faster maniac road rage

George Carlin was a true genius of satire: a bleeding-edge, progressive-yet-starkly-independent comedian known for obtuse observations, scathing criticisms, and wry linguistics.

• Awarded the 2008 Mark Twain Prize for American Humor (top award in U.S.), but died at a still-raging 71 just prior to formal acceptance.

• Hosted the premiere of Saturday Night Live in 1975

• Uttered "Seven Words You Can Never Say on Television" to defy and overcome early '70s live-performance and broadcast censorship. Spoiler alert: (list derived from Lenny Bruce's earlier list): shit, piss, fuck, cunt, cocksucker, motherfucker, and tits. (wikipedia)

• Heard Carlin's in-your-face Econ 101 lecture? (Not for the squeamish or 1%.) Here goes: