Privacy Means Bupkis These Days

• “Privacy is not an option, and it shouldn't be the price we accept for just getting on the Internet.” —Gary Kovacs, Former CEO, Mozilla

• “I actually think most people don't want Google to answer their questions. They want Google to tell them what they should be doing next.” —Eric Schmidt

• “Anytime Facebook wants to change how it might use all that data about you, in any way, across any service it has within the Facebook ecosystem, all it has to do is change one privacy policy, tell you about it, and that's that.” —John Battelle, Tech journalist

• "Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds." —John Perry Barlow, Writer/Activist

• "Is it just me, or is secret blanket surveillance obscenely outrageous?" —Al Gore

• "It's become something of a ritual - every year, Google publishes its year-end summary of what the world wants, and every year I complain about how shallow it is, given what Google really knows about what the world is up to." —John Battelle

 “"Eric Schmidt likes to point out that if you recorded all human communication from the dawn of time to 2003, it takes up about five billion gigabytes of storage space. Now (2012) we're creating that much data every two days.” —Eli Pariser 

Political Warning Signs political warning signs politics boehner mcdonnell election republicans

Mid-term prognostications courtesy of Andy Borowitz/The Borowitz Report/New Yorker 10.29.14:

• With just one week to go until the midterm elections, a new poll indicates that billionaires are likely to retain control of the United States government.

• Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll for the University of Minnesota, said that next Tuesday should be “a big night for oligarchs” and that both houses of Congress can be expected to grovel at the feet of their money-gushing paymasters for at least the next two years.

• Calling the billionaires’ upcoming electoral romp “historic,” Logsdon said, “We have not seen the super-rich maintain such a vise-like grip on the government since the days immediately preceding the French Revolution.”

Mid-term prognostications courtesy of 10.26.14

"What will the GOP Senate do?

  • According to forecasts, the Republicans have about a 68 percent chance of retaking the Senate.
    [Vox / Andrew Prokop]
  • The case that it'll amount to absolutely nothing: "The political roadblocks that have made legislating all but impossible during Obama’s second term aren’t going away. The 114th Congress will probably look a lot like the 113th."
    [New Republic / Danny Vinik]
  • The case that it'll amount to something: "There's one big thing that changes the moment Republicans win Senate: nominations."
    [Vox / Ezra Klein]
  • The House's #2 Republican, Kevin McCarthy, wants to start before the GOP Senate's even in office: "He would like to use the lame-duck session to pass a long-term government-funding bill, so Washington can begin focusing on big-picture legislating, instead of just trying to keep government’s doors open."
    [Politico / Jake Sherman]
  • But Ramesh Ponnuru thinks that's nuts: "McCarthy will be asking Republicans to give up some of their control over the budget in that period by working with a Democratic Senate that's on its way out. Does that sound like something that conservatives in Congress will meekly accept?"
    [Bloomberg / Ramesh Ponnuru]
  • Jon Chait is doubtful: "As the Senate majority leader in 2005, McConnell himself threatened to eliminate the judicial filibuster when Democrats started blocking George W. Bush’s federal court picks."
    [NY Mag / Jonathan Chait]

  •  Meanwhile, anonymous Democrats are worried the GOP will lock up the House for the rest of the decade: "if the Republicans pick up 10 seats or more, then we will have no chance of getting the House back in 2016, and that means we are done until 2020."[Financial Times / Richard McGregor]"

(Thx Jim Palam for "Enough Already" no-bull signage)

What Dog Lovers Know

Above: Poster by Keep Britain Tidy mashed up by Fizzdom

Above: Poster by Keep Britain Tidy mashed up by Fizzdom

• “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” —Jerry Seinfeld


“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.” —Groucho Marx

• “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” —Josh Billings

Is Flying Fun Yet?

john grimes cartoon

• "We'll be boarding in about five airline minutes." —comedian David Steinberg (thx Leah Garchik)

• "If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.” —Southwest flight attendant

• Watch mesmerizing world air traffic animation (Zurich School of Applied Sciences / Airboyd): 

• Learn (someone's) airline lingo (Reader's Digest):

> Blue juice: Water in the toilet 
Crotch watch: Seat belt check
> Crumb crunchers: Kids 
Deadheading: Airline employee flying as a passenger on company business
> Gate lice: People clustering at gate right before boarding 
> George: Autopilot
Landing lips: Applying lipstick before landing
> Pax: Passengers
> Spinners: Late-boarding passengers without seat assignments who spin around looking for seats
> Two-for-once special: Bumping once on first contact, then landing smoothly
> Working the village: Attendants working in coach

• Watch and listen to this U.S. air traffic animation (NASA/Airboyd):

• Factoids (Tristan Rayner,

> “If the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15 minutes of oxygen from the point of pulling them down ... more than enough time for the pilot to take us to a lower altitude where you can breathe normally.” —@jezalenko

> "Planes get hit by lightning (almost once a year) ... The last crash attributed to lightning was in 1967." —Lightning Technologies

> “Pilots don’t get the same meal and can’t share in case one makes them sick (from food poisoning).” –@Wrestlingisgood

> “When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights in case you need to evacuate upon landing … your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness so you’ll be able to see better once outside the plane.” —@bonestamp

> “The air you breathe on an airplane is ... clean air from the atmosphere (taken in through the engines) compressed to a normal atmospheric pressure, and fed through a complicated heating/cooling system. That’s why planes have very dry air – there’s no moisture in the air at nine kilometres above sea level, but modern planes try to add moisture via humidifiers ... The air leaves the airplane via a small hole in the back of the fuselage.” –@virgadays

• "Today’s planes are ... pressurized so you only feel like you’re about 6,000 to 8,000 feet above sea level ... numb your taste buds, making food taste blander ... Salty and sweet tastes are significantly impaired in the air. Bitter and umami (savory) tastes survive better." —Julie Beck, “Why Airline Food is So Bad,” Atlantic

• "If black boxes survive air crashes, why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?" —George Carlin

• Breaking News: "United flight diverted after passengers fight over legroom"

"A  woman and a man  — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were  at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat , preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip,  Washington Post 

"A woman and a man — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat, preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip, Washington Post 

• Final factoids (Reader's Digest):

> If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon. —Jerry Johnson, pilot

> The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place is in the back.

> You'll never hear, "One of our engines just failed. What they’ll say instead: 'One of our engines is indicating improperly.' "

> For most people who get sick after air traveling, it's not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch.

• Laugh with comedian Brian Regan:

Female on the Beach, Updated female at the beach john grimes joan crawford jeff chandler updated iPhone iPad 

• Above: Imagining if the 1955 movie, "Female on the Beach," was remade for today's multi-tasking market.

• Below: Popular, mostly-American beach movies, followed by a link to the best beach scenes in movies.

Jaws - 1975

Jaws - 1975

Blue Hawaii - 1961 

Blue Hawaii - 1961 

The Endless Summer - 1966

The Endless Summer - 1966

Cast Away - 2000

Cast Away - 2000

Gidget - 1959

Gidget - 1959

Y Tu Mama También - 2001

Y Tu Mama También - 2001

Beaches - 1988

Beaches - 1988

Point Break - 1991

Point Break - 1991

Lord of the Flies - 1990

Lord of the Flies - 1990

The Blue Lagoon - 1980

The Blue Lagoon - 1980

Blue Crush - 2002

Blue Crush - 2002

Above: The controversial  kiss scene  in  From Here to Eternity,  1953 Below: Watch the  video clip

Above: The controversial kiss scene in From Here to Eternity, 1953
Below: Watch the video clip

Click the following link for more from an English paper's list of the 50 best beach scenes in the movies:

Above:  After Amazon buys all the beaches.

Above: After Amazon buys all the beaches.

Source: Wikipedia

Source: Wikipedia

Tech-No-Love Fail

fizzdom humorist alice kahn's tech-no-love iPhone customer service tech support smart phone

• "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity."
—  Victor Salva

• "Men have become the tools of their tools."
Henry David Thoreau

• "Bill Gates is a very rich man today... and do you want to know why? The answer is one word: versions." — Dave Barry

grimes cartoon tech support

• Watch SNL's mockery above of whiny smartphone users.

• Fizzdom's animated quote is by humorist Alice Kahn, author of several books capturing the Northern Cal zeitgeist of the 70s and 80s, including "My Life as a Gal," "Multiple Sarcasm," "Fun with Dick and Bree," and "Lunch at Cafe Ridiculous."

Infinitely Einstein albert einstein infinity infinite universe stupidity physics cosmos bicycle

• Commemorating Albert Einstein's death on April 18, 1955 after refusing surgery for internal bleeding. "I want to go when I want. It is tasteless to prolong life artificially. I have done my share, it is time to go. I will do it elegantly."

• Another wry Einsteinism: “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”

• “If A is a success in life, then A equals x plus y plus z. Work is x; y is play; and z is keeping your mouth shut.” — Albert Einstein

• Einstein successfully challenged his hero Sir Issac Newton’s theory of gravitational pull. “Objects are pushed, not pulled,” as theoretical physicist Michio Kaka explains. “The earth has curved a space around me, and space is pushing (not pulling) me into this chair.” Watch the 3-minute video above and perhaps be surprised by what you'll unlearn. 

Einstein aficionados will enjoy the 90-minute bio above narrated by the incomparably clear Michio Kaka

Garry Trudeau's Key to Marriage garry trudeau's key to marriage doonsebury cartoon comic jane pauley john grimes couples

• For 40+ years Pulitizer-winning cartoonist/writer Garry Trudeau, one of America's most effective and thoughtful satirists, has produced Doonesbury, now syndicated to about 1400 publications. Seldom shying away from controversy, he apparently censors his conversations with wife/journalist/former Today Show anchor Jane Pauley.

• Trudeau (Spring 2012): “The GOP has chosen ... to re-litigate reproductive freedom, an issue that was resolved decades ago. Why Santorum, Limbaugh et al thought this would be a good time to declare war on half the electorate, I cannot say. But to ignore it would have been comedy malpractice.” Here's a sample from that week: doonsebury garry trudeau reproductive rights abortion governor perry texas sonogram bill comic

• Interviewer: “How do you view these comics gatekeepers (who would not run your strips about reproductive rights)?”
Trudeau: “I view them all as wise, loyal and good-looking.” (wikipedia)

• Back to the topic of communication among couples: john grimes cartoon talked all night couples relationships communication

Hog Wild hog wild pigs burp human food wine eating manners

• Zing! indeed, in this animated Grimes cartoon that channels our “food-as-fun” culture through "the other white meat."

• American consumers of pork, perhaps “pigging out” on occasion, have more likely been “hogging out,” since a pig weighs under 120 pounds, whereas a hog weighs more — up to 700 pounds. (U.S.D.A.)

• Domesticated pigs and hogs, called swine, account for 38% of worldwide meat production, with over a billion acting human everyday — makin’ bacon.

• “In November 2012 scientists managed to sequence the genome of the domestic pig. The similarities between the pig and human genomes mean that the new data may have wide applications in the study and treatment of human genetic diseases.” (Wikipedia) 

Watch Miss Piggy and Joan Rivers duke it out