Prepping for Parenthood #1

• “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” —Michelle Pfeiffer

• "You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance." —Franklin P. Jones

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• "I think Lincoln had a unique parenting style. He let his kids run free and wild." —Steven Spielberg

• "One thing I had learned from watching chimpanzees with their infants is that having a child should be fun." —Jane Goodall

• Below: Wonderfully wry HBO ad touting on-the-go viewing to avoid embarrassing moments with parents (1 of 3):

• "Having children is like living in a frat house — nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." —Ray Romano

• "Education, like neurosis, begins at home." —Milton Sapirstein

• "Few things are more satisfying than seeing your children have teenagers of their own." —Doug Larson

• “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children.' " —Susan Savannah

• "There really are places in the heart you don't even know exist until you love a child." —Anne Lamott

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• Our booming Boomerang Generation: "The U.S. Census Bureau reported a 5 percent point increase in the number of young men (ages 24–34) living with their parents for the period between 2005 (14%) and 2011 (19%). For the same period, the number of young women living with their parents increased from 8% in 2005 to 10% in 2011." (wikipedia)

• About the animated quote at very top (about a woman anticipating a possible divorce): A Broadway-dancer-turned comedian, Rita Rudner is a pioneering, "old-school" (non-blue) comic now working almost exclusively in Las Vegas. An accomplished author and screenwriter, her books include "I Still Have It; I Just Can't Remember Where I Put It," "Naked Beneath My Clothes" and the novels "Tickled Pink" and "Turning The Tables."

 

 

Love Can Be Fleeting

• Comedian  Richard Lewis  (b. 1947) with improbable partners

• Comedian Richard Lewis (b. 1947) with improbable partners

• "My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t." — unknown

• "Arguments about money are by far the top predictor of divorce. It's not children, sex, in-laws or anything else. It's money    for both men and women." — Sonya Britt, Kansas State University study

"The median length for a marriage in the US today is 11 years." — wikipedia

• 41% to 50% of first marriages, 60% to 67% of second marriages and 73% to 74% of third marriages end in divorce — divorcepad.com (citing two studies)

• Above: Divorce cakes

• Above: Divorce cakes

• A 2012 University of Michigan study “found that when a husband reported having a close relationship with his wife's parents, the couple's risk of divorce decreased by 20 percent. On the other hand, when a wife reported having a close relationship with her husband's parents, the couple's risk of divorce increased by 20 percent.” — huffpost.com

• Watch theOnion.com's hysterically life-like video above

Cinderella Gets Real

Fizzdom Cinderella gets real comedian Elayne Boosler prince charming fairy tale

• Comedian/writer/animal activist Elayne Boosler’s quote is collaged with a modern, post-slippered, Disneyesque Cinderella, who finds her prince a little less charming on game day.

• “Charles Perrault is believed to be the author, in the 1690s, of our ‘modern’ 300-year-old Cinderella, the French Cendrillon.”

• Love the American Library Association's take: In the late 20th century, “Cinderella … has developed a reputation as a simpering, whimpering girl who is helpless until the right magic comes along … The earlier Cinderella … was not a wishing-only kind of person (but) self-reliant, devoted to family and ancestors, and willing to make her own future.” (Where'd you go, girl?)

• Watch the "Mouse Song" from Disney's Cinderella for sure-fire nostalgia or fingernails-on-blackboard annoyance.