Jon Stewart, Iraq & Permanent Bases

See below for enlarged map with details.

See below for enlarged map with details.

• Below: Dick Cheney was surprisingly rational in this 4.15.94 interview, revealing why it wouldn't have made sense to overthrow Saddam Hussein and occupy Iraq after George H. W. Bush's 1991 Gulf War 1 victory forced Hussein's troops out of Kuwait. Cheney was Bush's Secretary of Defense, 1989-1993.

• In 2002 and 2003, ignoring his own 1994 advice above, Vice President Cheney and other neo-cons of the secretive Project for the New American Century persuaded President George W. Bush to orchestrate the 2003 invasion of Iraq with the intention of "permanent" (or at least long-term) occupation. The 2007 Fizzdom graphic below reviews some of the evidence for a string of 5 to 6 permanent bases. Note the juxtaposition of oil fields (yellow) and new bases (long push-pins), conveniently walling off Iran. Alas, reality has intervened and the U.S. is now teaming with axis-of-evil member Iran to help save Baghdad. 

• Above: Neo-con Deputy Secretary of Defense Paul Wolfowitz testifies to Congress just prior to the 2003 invasion about the minimal effort and expense required to invade and occupy Iraq — a country "that can really finance its own reconstruction and relatively soon." Bush administration plans for long-term occupation of Iraq oil bases cheney petraeus pace james baker rumsfeld

• Below: Paul Wolfowitz's early 2003 testimony to Congress continues, stating that the Iraqis "will greet us as liberators" after the invasion. Once more, wildly off the mark.

David Sedaris Calls It a Day david seders acropolis greece author democracy calls it a day

More by David Sedaris:

• “Like all of my friends she’s a lousy judge of character.”

• “We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well-made cocktail.”

• “I was a smart-ass, born and raised. This had been my curse and would continue to be so.”

Sedaris fans: Watch his "What's funny about America" presentation above at the Melbourne Writers' Conference. The last third is the funniest (with swearing). 

• A joke Sedaris heard on his book tour:

A man has just gotten into bed when he hears a knock at the door.
He gets up, answers the door and looks down to see a snail, who says,
"Excuse me, sir, can I interest you in some magazine subscriptions?"
In disbelief and anger the man kicks the snail out into his yard and goes back to sleep.
Two years later there’s another knock at the door.
The man answers and there’s the snail again, who looks up and says,
“What was THAT about?”

Humorist, author David Sedaris (b. 12.26.56) stretches non-fictional experiences into imaginative, observational hilarity, selling millions of books while traveling the globe on epic book tours and readings. Sedaris was raised in North Carolina by a Greek-Orthodox father and Protestant mother. One of his five siblings is humorist/comedian Amy Sedaris