C.S.I. Thanksgiving

 www.grimescartoons.com

www.grimescartoons.com

• “If you are really thankful, what do you do? You share.” —W. Clement Stone

• “My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.” —Phyllis Diller

 www.grimescartoons.com   

www.grimescartoons.com

 

• “When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around.” —Willie Nelson

• “We seldom think of what we have but always of what we lack." —Arthur Schopenhauer

• “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” —William Arthur Ward

 www.grimescartoons.com

www.grimescartoons.com

• “I say we all take the pledge and stay home. Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for what you have, not to save a few dollars to get more.” —Regina Brett

• “I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land.” —Jon Stewart

• Below: Time-lapse of American seizure of indigenous land, 1776-1887. Betweeen 1776 and 1887, the U.S. seized over 1.5 billion acres, an eighth of the world, from America’s indigenous people by treaty and executive order.  Video concludes with a map of current Indian reservations. (Previously featured in Fizzdom, July 4, 2014.)

 Bruce McCall

Bruce McCall

Privacy Means Bupkis These Days

• “Privacy is not an option, and it shouldn't be the price we accept for just getting on the Internet.” —Gary Kovacs, Former CEO, Mozilla

• “I actually think most people don't want Google to answer their questions. They want Google to tell them what they should be doing next.” —Eric Schmidt

• “Anytime Facebook wants to change how it might use all that data about you, in any way, across any service it has within the Facebook ecosystem, all it has to do is change one privacy policy, tell you about it, and that's that.” —John Battelle, Tech journalist

• "Relying on the government to protect your privacy is like asking a peeping tom to install your window blinds." —John Perry Barlow, Writer/Activist

• "Is it just me, or is secret blanket surveillance obscenely outrageous?" —Al Gore

• "It's become something of a ritual - every year, Google publishes its year-end summary of what the world wants, and every year I complain about how shallow it is, given what Google really knows about what the world is up to." —John Battelle

 “"Eric Schmidt likes to point out that if you recorded all human communication from the dawn of time to 2003, it takes up about five billion gigabytes of storage space. Now (2012) we're creating that much data every two days.” —Eli Pariser 

Political Warning Signs

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Mid-term prognostications courtesy of Andy Borowitz/The Borowitz Report/New Yorker 10.29.14:

• With just one week to go until the midterm elections, a new poll indicates that billionaires are likely to retain control of the United States government.

• Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll for the University of Minnesota, said that next Tuesday should be “a big night for oligarchs” and that both houses of Congress can be expected to grovel at the feet of their money-gushing paymasters for at least the next two years.

• Calling the billionaires’ upcoming electoral romp “historic,” Logsdon said, “We have not seen the super-rich maintain such a vise-like grip on the government since the days immediately preceding the French Revolution.”


Mid-term prognostications courtesy of www.vox.com 10.26.14

"What will the GOP Senate do?

  • According to forecasts, the Republicans have about a 68 percent chance of retaking the Senate.
    [Vox / Andrew Prokop]
  • The case that it'll amount to absolutely nothing: "The political roadblocks that have made legislating all but impossible during Obama’s second term aren’t going away. The 114th Congress will probably look a lot like the 113th."
    [New Republic / Danny Vinik]
  • The case that it'll amount to something: "There's one big thing that changes the moment Republicans win Senate: nominations."
    [Vox / Ezra Klein]
  • The House's #2 Republican, Kevin McCarthy, wants to start before the GOP Senate's even in office: "He would like to use the lame-duck session to pass a long-term government-funding bill, so Washington can begin focusing on big-picture legislating, instead of just trying to keep government’s doors open."
    [Politico / Jake Sherman]
  • But Ramesh Ponnuru thinks that's nuts: "McCarthy will be asking Republicans to give up some of their control over the budget in that period by working with a Democratic Senate that's on its way out. Does that sound like something that conservatives in Congress will meekly accept?"
    [Bloomberg / Ramesh Ponnuru]
  • Jon Chait is doubtful: "As the Senate majority leader in 2005, McConnell himself threatened to eliminate the judicial filibuster when Democrats started blocking George W. Bush’s federal court picks."
    [NY Mag / Jonathan Chait]

  •  Meanwhile, anonymous Democrats are worried the GOP will lock up the House for the rest of the decade: "if the Republicans pick up 10 seats or more, then we will have no chance of getting the House back in 2016, and that means we are done until 2020."[Financial Times / Richard McGregor]"

(Thx Jim Palam for "Enough Already" no-bull signage)

Churchill's Scathing Sense of Humor

 fizzdom.com winston churchill england british stafford cripps virtues vices sense of humor

Quotes by Sir Winston “Winnie” Leonard Spencer-Churchill (11.30.1874 - 1.24.1965)
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1940-45, 1951-55

 source: notable-quotes.com

source: notable-quotes.com

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened." (re: Conservative Prime Minister, Stanley Baldwin)

“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.”

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”

"He has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought." (re: Labour Prime Minister Ramsay MacDonald)

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

"If you wanted nothing done, Arthur Balfour was the best man for the task. There was no equal to him." (re: Conservative Prime Minister Arthur Balfour)

 With wife, Clementine

With wife, Clementine

“My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.”

"In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable." (re: Field Marshall Viscount Montgomery)

 Winston and wife Clementine (left), Lawrence of Arabia (3rd from left)

Winston and wife Clementine (left), Lawrence of Arabia (3rd from left)

"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street and when the door was opened Attlee got out." (re: Labour Prime Minister Clement Attlee)

“A joke is a very serious thing.”

Bankers Too Big To Jail

• Below: Eric Holder testifies that some corporations may be too big to prosecute.

• As alluded to above, the so-called "Holder memo" written during his earlier tenure at DOJ allows wiggle room for corporate execs to dodge prosecution if that might cause "collateral consequences" to the national or world economy.

• Below: Eric Holder with NBC's Pete Williams (11.2013) in a Bill Moyers & Company video (10.4.14). White-collar criminologist Bill Black, author of "The Best Way To Rob A Bank Is To Own One," calls the DOJ's inaction "the greatest strategic failure in the history of the Department of Justice."

• Below: President Robert Weissman of watchdog group Public Citizen describes the poor track record of Eric Holder's DOJ regarding criminal prosecutions for corporate crimes.

• "(Eric Holder's) tenure has proven unhelpful to the five million victims of mortgage abuses in the US." —David Dayen, the guardian.com

• Below: Watch investigative journalist Matt Taibbi's reporting on the massive rip-off by white collar criminals "no longer appropriate for jail."

• “Friends and former colleagues ... say it would be no surprise if (Holder) returned to the law firm Covington & Burling, where he spent years representing corporate clients." —NPR

• "A large chunk of Covington & Burling’s corporate clients are mega-banks like JPMorgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Citigroup and Bank of AmericaLanny Breuer, who ran the criminal division for Holder’s Justice Department, already returned to work there." —NPR

• "The Wall Street Journal found that the Justice Department only collects around 25% of the fines they impose ... The DoJ’s Inspector General ... found that DoJ deprioritized mortgage fraud, making it the 'lowest-ranked criminal threat' from 2009-2011."—David Dayen, the guardian.com

• Amy Goodman (host of "Democracy Now"): "Who was tougher on corporate America, President Obama or President Bush?"

 Matt Taibbi: "Oh, Bush, hands down. And this is an important point to make, because if you go back to the early 2000s, think about all these high-profile cases: Adelphia, Enron, Tyco, WorldCom, Arthur Andersen. All of these companies were swept up by the Bush Justice Department. And what’s interesting about this is that you can see a progression. If you go back to the savings and loan crisis in the late '80s, which was an enormous fraud problem, but it paled in comparison to the subprime mortgage crisis, we put about 800 people in jail during ... that crisis. You fast-forward 10 or 15 years to the accounting scandals, like Enron and Adelphia and Tyco, we went after the heads of some of those companies. It wasn't as vigorous as the S&L prosecutions, but we at least did it. ... We’re now in a place where we don’t even recognize the importance of keeping up appearances when it comes to making things look equal."

Department of Whining:
"
One would be hard put to identify an Attorney General who so explicitly turned the Justice Department into a political weapon ... The financial settlements that Holder Justice squeezed out of major banks are Exhibit A. Massive fines were imposed on J.P. Morgan Chase and Bank of America explicitly as punishment for the 2008 financial crisis. No matter how unprovable the charges, the banks settled because they couldn't endure the continuing political risk of even more severe punishment. President Obama bragged about punishing financial institutions throughout his 2012 re-election campaign." —Wall Street Journal editorial, September 2014

• Latest news: JPMorgan whistleblower featured in new Rolling Stone article by Matt Taibbi. Watch them interviewed by Chris Hayes on 11.10.14 below:

High Price of Free Speech

 Caricatured above: Jack Weinberg holding log; Mario Savio as Cal Man; thx 4 quote David Jouris

Caricatured above: Jack Weinberg holding log; Mario Savio as Cal Man; thx 4 quote David Jouris

• The Free Speech Movement (FSM) was a student protest at UC Berkeley in 1964-65 resisting the ban against on-campus political activities and other archaic restrictions of the repressed post-WW2 era. FSM leaders included Mario Savio, Michael Rossman, Brian Turner, Bettina Aptheker, Steve Weissman, Art Goldberg, Jackie Goldberg —Wikipedia

• The FSM, an outgrowth of civil rights and anti-war activism, marked a revolutionary national shift from paternalistic oversight by college administrators to the current era allowing on-campus political activities, free speech and academic freedom. —Wikipedia

  Source: Thx L.S. and Curtis Mekemson — wandering-through-time-and-place.me

 Source: Thx L.S. and Curtis Mekemson — wandering-through-time-and-place.me

• Below: Major tipping point 10.1.64: Jack Weinberg's arrest for on-campus political activism: manning a table to raise funds for the Congress of Racial Equality. 

“The car was held hostage for 32 hours. With Jack inside, the police car became the platform for a continual rally. Art Goldberg and his sister Jackie, both experienced student activists, were the leaders of the United Front (campus activist coalition), but from the top of the car new people emerged who captured the loyalty of the crowd. Mario Savio, a junior who had transferred from Queens, New York the year before, was soon recognized as the most charismatic speaker.” —Jo Freeman, JoFreeman.com

  Jack Weinberg  under arrest. Photo:  Occident,  thx Curtis Mekemson

Jack Weinberg under arrest. Photo: Occident, thx Curtis Mekemson

• "We have a saying in the movement that we don’t trust anybody over 30." —Jack Weinberg (1965 interview with San Francisco Chronicle reporter; many others co-opted the phrase). 

• Below: Mario Savio (12.8.42 - 11.6.96), iconic leader of the FSM, most famous for his revolutionary speech (excerpted here, two months after his speech atop the police car) at UC Berkeley’s Sproul Plaza 12.2.64.

A 1999 report revealed that Savio was followed and investigated by the FBI for more than a decade “because he had emerged as a prominent leader,” although there was not evidence he was a real threat. The FBI justified their pursuit “because they thought he could inspire students to rebel.” (SF Chronicle)

• Below: Overview of the FSM from the doc, "Berkeley in the Sixties"

• "The rights you enjoy on this (Berkeley) campus did not come easily. They had to be won by unrelenting agitation, by disturbing the peace, and much of the credit belongs to a generation of UC students often denigrated for their excesses." —Leon Litwick, activist, UCB professor emeritus of American history and Pulitzer Prize winner, who quit his campus library job in 1965 to protest the UC system's loyalty oath. 

 The  five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment  to the U.S. Constitution, shown on wall of the Newseum in Washington, DC. Photo: Cirt/ikipedia

The five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, shown on wall of the Newseum in Washington, DC. Photo: Cirt/ikipedia

• "You (President Obama) recently expressed concern that frustration in the country is breeding cynicism about democratic government. You need look no further than your own administration for a major source of that frustration – politically driven suppression of news and information about federal agencies. We call on you to take a stand to stop the spin and let the sunshine in. —Joint letter to President Obama from most major professional journalism associations, 7.8.14

• Example: "US Military Banned From Reading (Pulitizer-winning journalist) Glenn Greenwald's New Website" https://firstlook.org/theintercept/ — David Gilbert, International Business Times, 8.21.14

• “When the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe.” —Thomas Jefferson

 Thomas Jefferson updated - from Ludwig von Mises Institiute

Thomas Jefferson updated - from Ludwig von Mises Institiute

• “No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.” —Barbara Ehrenreich, journalist and author (b. 1941) 

• “I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself.” ―Oscar Wilde (paraphrasing Voltaire)

Speaking of the high price of free speech on campus:

• “Thanks to intense bank lobbying, student loans are uniquely punitive. Most can’t be refinanced, which means that people who borrowed at 8 percent in the 1990s are still paying 8 percent (when banks are paying almost zero). Unlike other loans, student loans can’t be discharged in bankruptcy, and a borrower’s salary, Social Security and even disability checks can be garnished.” _Barbara Gerson, SF Chronicle

  Wall Street Journal  Graphic

Wall Street Journal Graphic


Blacks Talking Funny Like Whites

 Above: Samples from hilarious  Buzzfeed video below

Above: Samples from hilarious Buzzfeed video below

• A different language is a different vision of life. —Federico Fellini

 Above:  2010 Census : Blacks as Percent of Population

Above: 2010 Census: Blacks as Percent of Population

• “Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?” ―Chris Rock

  1860   C  ensus of Slaves . source: retronaut.com    Slaves outnumbered "frees" in some states and comprised a third of the South's population.

1860 Census of Slaves. source: retronaut.com   
Slaves outnumbered "frees" in some states and comprised a third of the South's population.

• “Race is there. You're tired of hearing about it? Imagine how fucking exhausting it is living it.”
― Jon Stewart

 Above: Growth of Hispanics (purple) outpaces  Blacks (red)  and all others.  Whites (blues) decline .

Above: Growth of Hispanics (purple) outpaces Blacks (red) and all others. Whites (blues) decline.

• “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” ―Tiger Woods

• “A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.” ―Barack Obama

 Above: Increased  polarization  over three decades

Above: Increased polarization over three decades

• "Words are my language." —Patty Warren

Memory, I Know You're In There

 john grimes fizzdom.com grimescartoon.com memory forgetfulness   

• “Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.” ―Khalil Gibran

• “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.” —Sue Murphy

• “I love you when I forget about me.” —Joni Mitchell

• Below: Watch an amusing animation of former Poet Laureate Billy Collins' "Forgetfulness"

• “We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget” —Joan Didion

• “People change and forget to tell each other.” —Lillian Hellman

• “The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” ―Friedrich Nietzsche

 thx John Kouletsis

thx John Kouletsis

• “Remember your humanity and forget the rest” —Albert Einstein

• “Can you really forgive if you can't forget?” —Sarah Jessica Parker

• “Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.” —Roman Polanski

• “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” —Barbara Bush

 someeecards.com

someeecards.com

• “Isn't elegance forgetting what one is wearing?”—Yves Saint Laurent

• “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” —Maya Angelou

• “Life must go on; I forget just why.” —Edna St. Vincent Millay

 • “Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.” —Winnie the Pooh/A. A. Milne

Is Flying Fun Yet?

 john grimes cartoon grimescartoons.com fizzdom.com

• "We'll be boarding in about five airline minutes." —comedian David Steinberg (thx Leah Garchik)

• "If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.” —Southwest flight attendant

• Watch mesmerizing world air traffic animation (Zurich School of Applied Sciences / Airboyd): 

• Learn (someone's) airline lingo (Reader's Digest):

> Blue juice: Water in the toilet 
Crotch watch: Seat belt check
> Crumb crunchers: Kids 
Deadheading: Airline employee flying as a passenger on company business
> Gate lice: People clustering at gate right before boarding 
> George: Autopilot
Landing lips: Applying lipstick before landing
> Pax: Passengers
> Spinners: Late-boarding passengers without seat assignments who spin around looking for seats
> Two-for-once special: Bumping once on first contact, then landing smoothly
> Working the village: Attendants working in coach

• Watch and listen to this U.S. air traffic animation (NASA/Airboyd):

• Factoids (Tristan Rayner, techly.com):

> “If the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15 minutes of oxygen from the point of pulling them down ... more than enough time for the pilot to take us to a lower altitude where you can breathe normally.” —@jezalenko

> "Planes get hit by lightning (almost once a year) ... The last crash attributed to lightning was in 1967." —Lightning Technologies

> “Pilots don’t get the same meal and can’t share in case one makes them sick (from food poisoning).” –@Wrestlingisgood

> “When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights in case you need to evacuate upon landing … your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness so you’ll be able to see better once outside the plane.” —@bonestamp

> “The air you breathe on an airplane is ... clean air from the atmosphere (taken in through the engines) compressed to a normal atmospheric pressure, and fed through a complicated heating/cooling system. That’s why planes have very dry air – there’s no moisture in the air at nine kilometres above sea level, but modern planes try to add moisture via humidifiers ... The air leaves the airplane via a small hole in the back of the fuselage.” –@virgadays

• "Today’s planes are ... pressurized so you only feel like you’re about 6,000 to 8,000 feet above sea level ... numb your taste buds, making food taste blander ... Salty and sweet tastes are significantly impaired in the air. Bitter and umami (savory) tastes survive better." —Julie Beck, “Why Airline Food is So Bad,” Atlantic

• "If black boxes survive air crashes, why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?" —George Carlin

• Breaking News: "United flight diverted after passengers fight over legroom"

  "A  woman and a man  — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were  at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat , preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip,  Washington Post 

"A woman and a man — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat, preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip, Washington Post 

• Final factoids (Reader's Digest):

> If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon. —Jerry Johnson, pilot

> The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place is in the back.

> You'll never hear, "One of our engines just failed. What they’ll say instead: 'One of our engines is indicating improperly.' "

> For most people who get sick after air traveling, it's not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch.

• Laugh with comedian Brian Regan: