Parenting by Jerry Seinfeld

fizzdom.com joys of parenting jerry seinfeld blender without a lid

• "The bedtime routine for my kids is like this Royal Coronation Jubilee Centennial of rinsing and plaque and dental appliances and the stuffed animal semi-circle of emotional support. And I've gotta read eight different moron books. You know what my bedtime story was when I was a kid? Darkness!" — Jerry Seinfeld

• Watch the tyke above assert his curiosity. 

Poster above shared by Ashleigh Barbour Frazier

Poster above shared by Ashleigh Barbour Frazier

• And now this public service from the National Should-Never-Have-Had-Kids Foundation:

• Note: Kid in animation at top played by George Costanza aka Jason Alexander

George Carlin Knows Who's Crazy

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• Celebrating George Carlin on his birthday 5.12.37 (died June 22, 2008)

• "I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect."

• "If you can't beat them, arrange to have them beaten."

• "At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom."

•  "By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth." — George Carlin (relevant to ad above)

• "Carlin's material falls under one of three self-described categories: "the little world" (observational humor), "the big world" (social commentary), and the peculiarities of the English language (euphemisms, doublespeak, business jargon), all sharing the overall theme of (in his words) "humanity's bullshit." (wikipedia)

• "Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

• Note: "The harder a wife works, the cuter she looks" is not a Carlin quote, but that doesn't mean it's not true. 

Mom. How Does She Do It?

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• “All I want for Mother's Day is an Ambien and a hotel room.” — someecards.com

• “The greatest thing a father can do for his daughter is to love her mother.” — Elaine B. Dalton

• “The older I get the smarter my mother becomes.” — yourecards.com

• “As a housewife, I feel that if the kids are still alive when my husband gets home from work, then hey, I've done my job.” — Roseanne Barr

fizzdom.com john grimes cartoon martha stewart's mother party snacks
fizzdom.com john grimes cartoon running away mother and daughter
fizzdom.com john grimes cartoon cat becoming her mother

Anna Jarvisfounder of Mother's Day at her West Virginia church in 1908, was annoyed that most American holidays were dedicated to honoring male achievement. In 1924, a decade after Congress made Mother's Day an official holiday, Anna Jarvis sought to discontinue the celebration because it became excessively commercial and exploitive. (huffpost.com)

• Mother's Day is the busiest day of the year for restaurants.

image from dazzle.com

image from dazzle.com

Two Reasons for a Husband

fizzdom.com two reasons for husband meat cocktail party

• "You don't marry the person you can live with - you marry the person you can't live without." — FozzieBear

• "If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love."  — Michel de Montaigne

Above: Watch the hilarious Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Justin Timberlake Bronx Beat sketch about husbands and boom-booms.

Above: Watch Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph talk about the making of Bronx Beat and a hilarious skit with Hugh Laurie that follows.

grimes cartoon 1038 self-absorbed bore

• Animated quote "Two reasons for a husband ..." is by Mary Gordon (b. 12.8.49) an American writer and Professor of English at Barnard College. She is best known for her novels, memoirs and literary criticism. (hat tip for quote to David Jouris) (wikipedia) 

•  A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.

 

Garry Trudeau's Key to Marriage

fizzdom.com garry trudeau's key to marriage doonsebury cartoon comic jane pauley john grimes couples

• For 40+ years Pulitizer-winning cartoonist/writer Garry Trudeau, one of America's most effective and thoughtful satirists, has produced Doonesbury, now syndicated to about 1400 publications. Seldom shying away from controversy, he apparently censors his conversations with wife/journalist/former Today Show anchor Jane Pauley.

• Trudeau (Spring 2012): “The GOP has chosen ... to re-litigate reproductive freedom, an issue that was resolved decades ago. Why Santorum, Limbaugh et al thought this would be a good time to declare war on half the electorate, I cannot say. But to ignore it would have been comedy malpractice.” Here's a sample from that week: 

fizzdom.com doonsebury garry trudeau reproductive rights abortion governor perry texas sonogram bill comic

• Interviewer: “How do you view these comics gatekeepers (who would not run your strips about reproductive rights)?”
Trudeau: “I view them all as wise, loyal and good-looking.” (wikipedia)

• Back to the topic of communication among couples:

fizzdom.com john grimes cartoon talked all night couples relationships communication

Amy Poehler's Phone Fetish

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     fizzdom.com comedian amy poehler's phone fetish iPhone boyfriend love will arnett

• "The answer to life's questions is often in people's faces. Try putting your iPhones down once in a while, and look in people's faces." — Amy Poehler

• “As an actor, you can certainly, at any moment and at any time, discover 400 people who think you're stupid, fat and ugly.” — Amy Poehler

• Watch Amy Poehler and Tina Fey's rapid-fire jokes at the 2013 Golden Globe awards. 

• Watch Amy Poehler talk about her phone fetish and one difference between men and women on Jimmy Kimmel Live above.

Marilyn Monroe Draws the Line

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Marilyn Monroe (1926-1962) is shown in her iconic white dress from director Billy Wilder's 1955 film, “Seven Year Itch.” Classic image based on photo by Bruno Bernard. 

The 26-foot tall  sculpture  of  Marilyn  shields people from Chicago rain. It was then moved to Palm Springs, and finally (April 2014) to Hamilton, NJ for a retrospective honoring its now-84-year-old sculptor  Seward Johnson  (Johnson & Johnson heir).

The 26-foot tall sculpture of Marilyn shields people from Chicago rain. It was then moved to Palm Springs, and finally (April 2014) to Hamilton, NJ for a retrospective honoring its now-84-year-old sculptor Seward Johnson (Johnson & Johnson heir).

• She reportedly "shaved half an inch off one heel (of her shoe) to perfect her trademark wiggle."

• Watch a sultry, woozy Marilyn sing to JFK above in May 1962, three months before she died. Jackie was not present.  

Couples: It's Easier Than You Think

"It's Not the Nail" is a web-based video short by writer/director/actor Jason Headley. Fizzdom.com Couples: It's easier than you think. The first duty of love is to listen. Paul Tillich. John Grimes. 

 • “The first duty of love is to listen” quote is by Paul Tillich (1886-1965) “widely regarded as one of the most influential theologians of the 20th century.” (wikipedia)

• More great advice for couples: "Don't try to fix it. I just need you to listen" — from the hilarious video above by writer/director/actor Jason Headley.

Cinderella Gets Real

Fizzdom Cinderella gets real comedian Elayne Boosler prince charming fairy tale

• Comedian/writer/animal activist Elayne Boosler’s quote is collaged with a modern, post-slippered, Disneyesque Cinderella, who finds her prince a little less charming on game day.

• “Charles Perrault is believed to be the author, in the 1690s, of our ‘modern’ 300-year-old Cinderella, the French Cendrillon.”

• Love the American Library Association's take: In the late 20th century, “Cinderella … has developed a reputation as a simpering, whimpering girl who is helpless until the right magic comes along … The earlier Cinderella … was not a wishing-only kind of person (but) self-reliant, devoted to family and ancestors, and willing to make her own future.” (Where'd you go, girl?)

• Watch the "Mouse Song" from Disney's Cinderella for sure-fire nostalgia or fingernails-on-blackboard annoyance.