Amy Poehler in 43 Flavors

fizzdom. com amy poehler's 31 flavors humor comedy

Amy Poehler:

"I hate Halloween. I hate dressing up. I hate - I wear wigs, makeup, costumes every day. Halloween is like, my least favorite holiday."

"I was the daughter of teachers, so school was always very important. I liked it."

"Take your risks now, as you grow older you become more fearful and less flexible." 

• Above: Very funny "Bronx Beat" sketch from Saturday Night Live with Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and guest Jake Gyllenhaal.

 “She’s sort of this cute, small girl who also is tougher than anyone you’re going to run into.” — Seth Meyers 

God, Jane Wagner and Lily Tomlin

fizzdom.com god and lily tomlin jane wagner praying schizophrenic phone operator laugh-in gif comedy

• During their collaborations over 40+ years, Jane Wagner has written much of comedian / writer / performer / activist / wife Lily Tomlin's material. (see short bios at end of this post)

• Below: Odds and ends about religion and belief systems:

• "Believe" — by Laura Kimpton and Jeff Schomberg at Burning Man. Photo below by Peggy Mekemson.

• “Religion is like a pair of shoes … Find one that fits for you, but don’t make me wear your shoes.” — George Carlin

• “If a person is gay and seeks the Lord and has good will, who am I to judge?”  — Pope Francis

Jon Stewart quote Religion It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.

• "Religion is what keeps the poor from murdering the rich.” — Napoleon

• “I call him religious who understands the suffering of others.” — Mahatma Gandhi 

• “I think of religions as franchise operations. Like chicken franchise operations. But that doesn't mean there's no chicken, right?” — William Gibson

• “Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.” — Stephen Colbert 

pastifarian john castillo flying spaghetti monster

• Above: Successfully testing the limits of government tolerance of religious options, "Pastafarian" Eddie Castillo became the first disciple of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to have an official DMV photo with spaghetti-strainer headgear. 

• Below: Departing from religion and on to the versatile Lily Tomlin as the very funny Ernestine-from-Ma-Bell in this video from Rowan and Martin's Laugh-In. Edgier corporate satire than you might imagine for the late '60s, especially about the "omnipotent" phone company and sending out mean drunks!

• "Jane Wagner (b. 2.26.35) is an American writer, director and producer ... best known as Lily Tomlin's comedy writer, collaborator and wife (they married in 2013) ... author of The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe, The Incredible Shrinking Woman and other Tomlin vehicles … won the Peabody Award ... helped develop the (Tomlin's) Laugh-In character Edith Ann.” (Wikipedia)

• "Lily Tomlin (b. 9.1.39) is an American actress, comedian, writer, and producer ... a major force in American comedy since the late 1960s, when she began a career as a stand-up comedian and became a featured performer on television's Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In ... She has starred in such films as Nashville, 9 to 5, All of Me, The Beverly Hillbillies, Orange County, and I Heart Huckabees."

• Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you died, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck." George Carlin

Drinks with Dorothy Parker

fizzdom.com drinks with dorothy parker martini writer algonquin round table blacklisted  1078

Celebrating Dorothy Parker (August 22, 1893 – June 7, 1967):

• “I'm not a writer with a drinking problem, I'm a drinker with a writing problem.”

• “The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity.”

“Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience"

• “Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.”

•  “I hate writing, I love having written.”

• “Tell him I was too fucking busy — or vice versa.”

• “I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy.”

cover-enough rope.jpg

• Dorothy Parker's poem "Résumé" from Enough Rope:

"Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.”

• “The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.”

• “So, you're the man who can't spell 'fuck.' (Dorothy Parker to Norman Mailer after publishers had convinced Mailer to replace the word with a euphemism, 'fug,' in his 1948 book, The Naked and the Dead.)" 

* Bio: "Dorothy Parker was an American poet, short story writer, critic and satirist, best known for her wit, wisecracks, and eye for 20th-century urban foibles. From a conflicted and unhappy childhood, Parker rose to acclaim, both for her literary output in such venues as The New Yorker and as a founding member of the Algonquin Round Table. Following the breakup of the circle, Parker traveled to Hollywood to pursue screenwriting. Her successes there, including two Academy Award nominations, were curtailed as her involvement in left-wing politics led to a place on the Hollywood blacklist."

• Above: Turn your audio OFF, then see how many names you recognize on the scrolling Hollywood blacklist in the video above. 

• Above: "The Hollywood blacklist of the 1940s & 1950s affected several hundred Hollywood writers, directors, actors, who were both persecuted and prosecuted by a group fearful of communist infiltration in the Hollywood film community … Many never worked again or had to work under pseudonyms." (Terrie Frankel)

 • "McCarthyism is the practice of making accusations of disloyalty, subversion, or treason without proper regard for evidence ... The term is also now used more generally to describe reckless, unsubstantiated accusations, as well as demagogic attacks on the character or patriotism of political adversaries." (wikipedia)

• “Living well is the best revenge.” (Dorothy Parker)

• Apologies to Marc Chagall (R.I.P.) for Fizzdom's use of a portion of his painting, "The Birthday," in the animation at the top.

Naturally Fran Lebowitz

fizzdom.com fran lebowitz writer metropolitan life martini hotel nature 

More Fran:

• “Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house.”

• “Let us admit that where there is less religion there is more progress.”

• “I write so slowly, I could write with my own blood and not hurt myself.” 

• “There is one thing that has disappeared, not just from the U.S. but from the entire world, is the idea of ever being embarrassed by anything.” 

• “Sleep is death without the responsibility.” 

• “Nature is by and large to be found out of doors, a location where, it cannot be argued, there are never enough comfortable chairs.”

• Watch Lebowiz in this clip from Public Speaking, Martin Scorcese's 2010 HBO documentary about her.

• “Fran Lebowitz (b. 10.27.50) is an American author and public speaker. Lebowitz is known for her sardonic social commentary on American life as filtered through her New York City sensibilities. Some reviewers have called her a modern-day Dorothy Parker.”

• “After being expelled from high school and receiving a GED, Lebowitz worked many odd jobs before being hired by Andy Warhol as a columnist for Interview. This was followed by a stint at Mademoiselle. Her first book was a collection of essays titled Metropolitan Life, released in 1978, followed by Social Studies in 1981, both of which are collected in The Fran Lebowitz Reader.” (wikipedia)

• She admits to having an extreme case of writer's block, which she calls "writer's blockade."

Maya Angelou's Wisps of Glory

fizzdom.com maya angelou's wisps of glory quotes animation gif poet writer performer

• Before her many accomplishments as a poet, writer and activist, Maya Angelou sang and danced in her 1950s night club act (of course, the quotes above came later).

• “Calypso music is rooted in resistance, and served as voice of the people. Here's Maya Angelou as Miss Calypso, talking police brutality, more than 50 years ago.” (Reader comment by Denise Sullivan on YouTube.) Listen to audio above.

Maya Angelou congratulated by President Bill Clinton at his 1993 inauguration

• Above: Angelou after reciting her poem, “On the Pulse of the Morning," written for and performed at President Clinton’s 1993 Inauguration.

Maya Angelou congratulated by President Obama upon receipt of the 2010 Medal of Freedom

• Above: Angelou congratulated by President Obama upon receipt of the 2010 Medal of Freedom.

• "In order to survive as a black woman I am obliged to search inside myself for my stuff. Because nobody hands it out for free on the corner." — Maya Angelou, as recounted by Leah Garchik, SF Chronicle, 5.29.14

Get Fabulous Shoes for Free!

fizzdom.com john grimes how to get fabulous shoes for free ann brashares sisterhood of the traveling pants before you  criticize someone walk a mile in their shoes that way when you criticize them you're a mile away and you have their shoes

Ann Brashares' quote above is from her book, "The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants."

• “A woman carries her clothes. But the shoe carries the woman.” — Christian Louboutin

• "If the shoe fits, it's too expensive." — Adrienne Gusoff

• "I never wear the same shoe twice." — Deion Sanders

• Warning: Repeated watching of the classic Monty Python bit above may result in unexpected lapses into silly walks.

source: pinterest.com/macxe/funny-friendship-quotes/

source: pinterest.com/macxe/funny-friendship-quotes/

Steve Martin Loves Paris!

fizzdom.com john grimes steve martin loves paris france french language pink panther

More Steve Martin:

• "There is one thing I would break up over, and that is if she caught me with another woman. I won't stand for that."

• "I believe sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

• (from the 80s): "I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this country what it once was... an arctic wilderness."

• "Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order is."

• Watch the dreamy Paris cityscape in the introduction to Woody Allen's Midnight in Paris above.

• Martin's business card

• Martin's business card

• sources of French phrases and translations:  globule.org, french.lovetoknow.com

David Sedaris Calls It a Day

fizzdom.com david seders acropolis greece author democracy calls it a day

More by David Sedaris:

• “Like all of my friends she’s a lousy judge of character.”

• “We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well-made cocktail.”

• “I was a smart-ass, born and raised. This had been my curse and would continue to be so.”

Sedaris fans: Watch his "What's funny about America" presentation above at the Melbourne Writers' Conference. The last third is the funniest (with swearing). 

• A joke Sedaris heard on his book tour:

A man has just gotten into bed when he hears a knock at the door.
He gets up, answers the door and looks down to see a snail, who says,
"Excuse me, sir, can I interest you in some magazine subscriptions?"
In disbelief and anger the man kicks the snail out into his yard and goes back to sleep.
Two years later there’s another knock at the door.
The man answers and there’s the snail again, who looks up and says,
“What was THAT about?”

Humorist, author David Sedaris (b. 12.26.56) stretches non-fictional experiences into imaginative, observational hilarity, selling millions of books while traveling the globe on epic book tours and readings. Sedaris was raised in North Carolina by a Greek-Orthodox father and Protestant mother. One of his five siblings is humorist/comedian Amy Sedaris

Hitchcock Goes Psycho

fizzdom.com alfred hitchcock goes psycho film movie norman bates anthony perkins janet leigh

•  “It’s not like my mother is a maniac or a raving thing. She just goes a little mad sometimes. We all go a little mad sometimes. Haven’t you?” — Anthony Perkins as Norman Bates

More by Alfred Hitchcock (8.13.99 - 4.29.80):

• “The only way to get rid of my fears is to make films about them.” 

• "Television has brought back murder into the home where it belongs."

• “Always make the audience suffer as much as possible.”

• Original Psycho trailer above, with Hitchcock pushing the envelope of popular filmmaking in 1960.

• "In his best-selling biography of Alfred Hitchcock, (Donald) Spoto claimed that the celebrated film director of the macabre and the unsettling was a man in the grip of uncontrollable impulses (which) included misogyny, sadistic tendencies, and fantasies of rape; bathroom and various other fetishes about sex and the body; overwhelming guilt, anxiety, and a mother fixation; and phobias toward women, people in general, and the world at large." (lifeprocessprogram.com)

• "Drama is life with the dull bits cut out." — Alfred Hitchcock

• Hitchcock "pioneered the use of a camera made to move in a way that mimics a person's gaze, forcing viewers to engage in a form of voyeurism. He framed shots to maximize anxiety, fear, or empathy, and used innovative film editing. His stories often feature fugitives on the run from the law alongside "icy blonde" female characters. Many of Hitchcock's films have twist endings and thrilling plots featuring depictions of violence, murder, and crime. Many of the mysteries, however, are used as decoys or "MacGuffins" that serve the film's themes and the psychological examinations of the characters." (wikipedia) 

Oscar Wilde's Breakthroughs in B.S.

fizzdom.com oscar wild's breakthrough in b.s. bullshit protector author writer

More Wildeness:

• “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”

• "I prefer women with a past. They're always so damned amusing to talk to."
— from Lady Windermere's Fan

• "To love oneself is the beginning of a life-long romance."
— from An Ideal Husband

• Watch the short bio above of Wilde's ascendence from 1879 when he moved to London, through his year-long speaking tour of America in 1881, to his triumphant return to England as an international celebrity in 1882.

source: http://deskrat.blogspot.com/2005/08/vets-wear-bullshit-protectors-bush-vfw.html

source: http://deskrat.blogspot.com/2005/08/vets-wear-bullshit-protectors-bush-vfw.html

Photo above: "Aug 24, 2005: George W. Bush should realize (he's in) trouble when veterans wear bullshit protectors to avoid hearing his attempts to justify his war in Iraq."