Memory, I Know You're In There

john grimes fizzdom.com grimescartoon.com memory forgetfulness   

• “Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.” ―Khalil Gibran

• “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.” —Sue Murphy

• “I love you when I forget about me.” —Joni Mitchell

• Below: Watch an amusing animation of former Poet Laureate Billy Collins' "Forgetfulness"

• “We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget” —Joan Didion

• “People change and forget to tell each other.” —Lillian Hellman

• “The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” ―Friedrich Nietzsche

thx John Kouletsis

thx John Kouletsis

• “Remember your humanity and forget the rest” —Albert Einstein

• “Can you really forgive if you can't forget?” —Sarah Jessica Parker

• “Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.” —Roman Polanski

• “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” —Barbara Bush

someeecards.com

someeecards.com

• “Isn't elegance forgetting what one is wearing?”—Yves Saint Laurent

• “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” —Maya Angelou

• “Life must go on; I forget just why.” —Edna St. Vincent Millay

 • “Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.” —Winnie the Pooh/A. A. Milne

Is Flying Fun Yet?

john grimes cartoon grimescartoons.com fizzdom.com

• "We'll be boarding in about five airline minutes." —comedian David Steinberg (thx Leah Garchik)

• "If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with two small children, decide now which one you love more.” —Southwest flight attendant

• Watch mesmerizing world air traffic animation (Zurich School of Applied Sciences / Airboyd): 

• Learn (someone's) airline lingo (Reader's Digest):

> Blue juice: Water in the toilet 
Crotch watch: Seat belt check
> Crumb crunchers: Kids 
Deadheading: Airline employee flying as a passenger on company business
> Gate lice: People clustering at gate right before boarding 
> George: Autopilot
Landing lips: Applying lipstick before landing
> Pax: Passengers
> Spinners: Late-boarding passengers without seat assignments who spin around looking for seats
> Two-for-once special: Bumping once on first contact, then landing smoothly
> Working the village: Attendants working in coach

• Watch and listen to this U.S. air traffic animation (NASA/Airboyd):

• Factoids (Tristan Rayner, techly.com):

> “If the oxygen masks drop down, you only have about 15 minutes of oxygen from the point of pulling them down ... more than enough time for the pilot to take us to a lower altitude where you can breathe normally.” —@jezalenko

> "Planes get hit by lightning (almost once a year) ... The last crash attributed to lightning was in 1967." —Lightning Technologies

> “Pilots don’t get the same meal and can’t share in case one makes them sick (from food poisoning).” –@Wrestlingisgood

> “When a plane is landing at night, they dim the interior lights in case you need to evacuate upon landing … your eyes are already adjusted to the darkness so you’ll be able to see better once outside the plane.” —@bonestamp

> “The air you breathe on an airplane is ... clean air from the atmosphere (taken in through the engines) compressed to a normal atmospheric pressure, and fed through a complicated heating/cooling system. That’s why planes have very dry air – there’s no moisture in the air at nine kilometres above sea level, but modern planes try to add moisture via humidifiers ... The air leaves the airplane via a small hole in the back of the fuselage.” –@virgadays

• "Today’s planes are ... pressurized so you only feel like you’re about 6,000 to 8,000 feet above sea level ... numb your taste buds, making food taste blander ... Salty and sweet tastes are significantly impaired in the air. Bitter and umami (savory) tastes survive better." —Julie Beck, “Why Airline Food is So Bad,” Atlantic

• "If black boxes survive air crashes, why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?" —George Carlin

• Breaking News: "United flight diverted after passengers fight over legroom"

"A  woman and a man  — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were  at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat , preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip,  Washington Post 

"A woman and a man — both seated in the “Economy Plus” section of the aircraft, which already comes with extra legroom — were at each other’s throats because the man attached a “knee defender” device to his seat, preventing the woman in front from reclining." —Abby Phillip, Washington Post 

• Final factoids (Reader's Digest):

> If you’re a nervous flier, book a morning flight. The heating of the ground later causes bumpier air, and it’s much more likely to thunderstorm in the afternoon. —Jerry Johnson, pilot

> The smoothest place to sit is often over or near the wing. The bumpiest place is in the back.

> You'll never hear, "One of our engines just failed. What they’ll say instead: 'One of our engines is indicating improperly.' "

> For most people who get sick after air traveling, it's not because of what they breathe but because of what they touch.

• Laugh with comedian Brian Regan:

Food for the Funnel of Love

This is a portion of a real ad around a tunnel in Germany, with the woman's mouth forming the entrance. Quote, burger, drink and animation added by Fizzdom. 

This is a portion of a real ad around a tunnel in Germany, with the woman's mouth forming the entrance. Quote, burger, drink and animation added by Fizzdom. 

imgur.com

imgur.com

• “The trouble with eating Italian food is that five or six days later you’re hungry again.” —George Miller

• Below: Comedian Brian Regan on serving sizes, etc. (worth 4:34)

• “Eighty percent of the flavor comes from your nose, including a set of internal nostrils. When you chew food and hold it in your mouth, the gases that are released go into these nostrils. People who wolf their food are missing some of the flavor.” —Mary Roach, “Gulp: Adventures of the Alimentary Canal”

• "I used to be svelt, but with age I have svelled." —Henry Alford 

theonion.com

theonion.com

• “Virtually every adult on the planet consumes too much salt … nearly double the two grams daily recommended … 1.65 million deaths annually … a major cause of high blood pressure … Forty percent of those deaths occurred before the age of 70.” — Tufts University study, Washington Post

Sushi  roll art by  Takayo Kiyota  - homage to  Edvard Munch's "The Scream"  (123inspiration.com)

Sushi roll art by Takayo Kiyota - homage to Edvard Munch's "The Scream" (123inspiration.com)

• "Obesity rates have more than doubled in adults and children since the 1970’s … More than two-thirds of U.S. adults are overweight or obese … About a quarter of 2-5 year olds and one-third of school-age children (including adolescents) are overweight or obese in the U.S." —Food Research and Action Center (FRAC, anti-hunger non-profit)

• “Mexico overtakes the U.S. as the world’s fattest country, according to the U.N.” —Time 7.22.13

art by  Banksy

art by Banksy

Know Your Jargon for Fast-Food Trickery:

"1. Pillar Ingredients—Salt, sugar, and fat are the Pillar Ingredients, and the industry strategically combines the three to keep you hooked.
2. Bliss Point—If we crave pillar ingredients so much, why not just crank them up as much as possible? It turns out there is an optimum amount of salt, sugar, or fat the human brain likes best, and it is called the bliss point.
3. Mouthfeel—This is literally the way food feels inside a person’s mouth; junk food industry scientists also adjust factors like crunchiness to produce a mouthfeel that consumer most crave.
4. Flavor Burst—Technologists alter the size and shape of salt crystals, so that they induce a flavor burst that “can basically assault the taste buds into submission.”
5. Vanishing Caloric Density—Underlying all junk-food science is vanishing caloric density, which is the process by which the food melts in your mouth so quickly that the brain is fooled into thinking it is consuming fewer calories than it actually is. The packaged-food scientists want to avoid triggering sensory-specific satiety, the brain mechanism that tells a person to stop eating when it is overwhelmed by flavors." —Michael Moss, “Salt Sugar Fat”

theonion.com

theonion.com

Hilarious Headlines from The Onion

TheOnion.com
theonion logo.png

“Fat Kid Took Two”

 

“The Internet Went Down For Three Hours This Morning, Plunging The Nation Into Productivity”

 

"Ted Cruz’s Wife Shudders After Noticing 
Twin Beds Pushed Together"

 

“Man Doesn’t Need To Have Fun To Drink”

 

“Breakup Rescheduled To End Of Lease”

 

Video: "New Wearable Feedbags
Let Americans Eat More, Move Less


 

“Office Smelled Like Fire For 3 Hopeful Seconds”

 

“Novel Dedicated To Parents 
As If That Could Begin To Make Amends” 

 

“Congress Takes Group of Schoolchildren Hostage”

 

Video: "New Facebook Feature Scans Profile
To Pinpoint Exactly When Things Went Wrong"


“Planned Parenthood Opens $8 Billion Abortionplex”

 

“Wife Lovingly Preparing Meal With Knife
That Will One Day Be State’s Exhibit A”

 

“Shirtless Biden Washes Trans Am In White House Driveway”

TheOnion.com

TheOnion.com

“Study Finds Every Style of Parenting
Produces Disturbed, Miserable Adults”

Betsey Johnson: Why Girls Dress Up

fizzdom-1034-betsey-johnson-why-girls-dress-up.gif

• “Style is a way to say who you are without having to speak.” — Rachell Zoe

• "I really would not call me a fashion icon. I would call myself somebody who gets dressed by professionals … I would call myself more of a monkey." — Jennifer Lawrence

• “The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. Aloud.” — Coco Chanel

• “One reason they call them ‘Relaxed Fit’ jeans is that ‘Ass the Size of Texas’ would not sell well.” — Jim Rosenberg

• “I’ll stop wearing black when they make a darker color.”  — Wednesday Addams

• “I like Cinderella. She has a good work ethic and she likes shoes.” — Amy Adams

• "I feel that flip-flops are the downfall of many relationships. It’s, like first it’s the flip-flops, and then it’s the sweatpants … it’s the gateway drug to no sex." — Lady Gaga

wash.post-gusto images

wash.post-gusto images

• “Betsey Johnson (b. 8.10.42) is an American fashion designer best known for her feminine and whimsical designs. Many of her designs are considered over the top and embellished. She also is known for doing a cartwheel at the end of her fashion shows.” (wikipedia)

(additional sources: stylecaster.com, brainyquotes.com, interview magazine)

Driving Around Like Crazy

fizzdom.com jack handy driving around like crazy toonces thelma and louise movie

• “I drive a motorbike, so there is the whiff of the grim reaper round every corner." ― Benedict Cumberbatch

• "Google is working on self-driving cars, and they seem to work. People are so bad at driving cars that computers don't have to be that good to be much better." — Marc Andreessen

Distracted driving, not speeding or alcohol, is the cause of most accidents. — National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

• “Nearly 80 percent of all crashes involved driver inattention just prior to (within 3 seconds) of the crash.”     NHTSA

McKinsey study, allthingsd.com

McKinsey study, allthingsd.com

• "When I'm driving the highway by myself is when I write best." — Willie Nelson

• “Americans will put up with anything provided it doesn't block traffic.” ― Dan Rather

• "You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive." — Author Unknown

• "Road rage is the expression of the amateur sociopath in all of us, cured by running into a professional." — Robert Brault

More tips for an early demise from TheOnion.com

More tips for an early demise from TheOnion.com

Spotted in New York state

Spotted in New York state

• "My trick to not text and drive is to let me friends know I'm driving by posting #X before I start the car." — Christine@christineicwtweets

• "It's true that I've driven through a number of red lights. But on the other hand, I've stopped at a lot of green ones I've never gotten credit for." — Glenn Gould (thx david jouris)

cheezburger.com gif posted at giphy.com

cheezburger.com gif posted at giphy.com

Female on the Beach, Updated

fizzdom.com female at the beach john grimes joan crawford jeff chandler updated iPhone iPad 

• Above: Imagining if the 1955 movie, "Female on the Beach," was remade for today's multi-tasking market.

• Below: Popular, mostly-American beach movies, followed by a link to the best beach scenes in movies.

Jaws - 1975

Jaws - 1975

Blue Hawaii - 1961 

Blue Hawaii - 1961 

The Endless Summer - 1966

The Endless Summer - 1966

Cast Away - 2000

Cast Away - 2000

Gidget - 1959

Gidget - 1959

Y Tu Mama También - 2001

Y Tu Mama También - 2001

Beaches - 1988

Beaches - 1988

Point Break - 1991

Point Break - 1991

Lord of the Flies - 1990

Lord of the Flies - 1990

The Blue Lagoon - 1980

The Blue Lagoon - 1980

Blue Crush - 2002

Blue Crush - 2002

Above: The controversial  kiss scene  in  From Here to Eternity,  1953 Below: Watch the  video clip

Above: The controversial kiss scene in From Here to Eternity, 1953
Below: Watch the video clip

Click the following link for more from an English paper's list of the 50 best beach scenes in the movies: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/3558960/The-50-best-beach-scenes-in-the-movies.html

Above:  After Amazon buys all the beaches.

Above: After Amazon buys all the beaches.

Source: Wikipedia

Source: Wikipedia

Why Women Mate

John Grimes cartoon (autobiographical) • grimescartoons.com

John Grimes cartoon (autobiographical) • grimescartoons.com

• “It isn’t enough to love; we must prove it." — St. Therese of Lisieux  (thx2 happiness project)

• Above: Custom paintings of a couple's recorded wedding vows expressed as audio waveforms - ©aimee weaver aimeeweaverdesigns.com

• Above: Custom paintings of a couple's recorded wedding vows expressed as audio waveforms - ©aimee weaver aimeeweaverdesigns.com

• "If there is such a thing as a good marriage, it is because it resembles friendship rather than love." — Michel de Montaigne

• Above: "Business Time" — hilarious romantic video-tune by Flight of the Conchords (28m+ views)

• “About one in five relationships starts online.” — Sam Yagan, co-founder of OkCupid

"Why Women's Hands and Feet Get Colder than Men's" (excerpt below):

"It’s the hands, face and feet that tend to be coldest and that’s partly because they’re exposed, but it’s also because the body will sacrifice these extremities to keep the internal organs warm.

That’s why our hands turn white, and even blue, in the cold, and why those who survive extremely cold conditions lose fingers and toes to frostbite. However, in some people — typically women — this process can go haywire, causing their blood vessels to shut down even from a minimal amount of cold.

‘We know from studies that if you lower people’s temperatures by placing them in cold air, vasoconstriction happens more quickly in women,’ says Professor Tipton. ‘The blood flow to skin is shut down sooner and more intensely than in men, and afterwards it takes women longer to warm up.’ 

So even though women may feel the cold more than men, it’s their skin temperaturenot their core body temperature — that’s colder

Indeed, a study of 219 people published in The Lancet in 1998 showed that while the body temperature of the women who were studied was on average 0.4 f hotter than the men, their hands were 2.8 f colder. This is partly due to hormones

In women, the female hormone oestrogen regulates the peripheral blood vessels; high levels of this hormone make them more sensitive to temperature. As a result, a woman’s temperature will vary during her menstrual cycle as oestrogen levels rise and fall."  Chloe Lambert, dailymail.co.uk



Please Take What You Need

Fizzdom illustration based on sign spotted by  Nick Monsma , reported by Leah Garchik,  SF Chronicle

• I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka." — Ron White

• "Oh no! I just accidentally did everything wrong all my life." — @lynnbixenspan

Above: Shared by  Jane Woods Grimes

Above: Shared by Jane Woods Grimes

"Failure is a bruise, not a tattoo." — Jon Sinclair

• "Happiness keeps you sweet.  Trials keep you strong." — unknown

• "Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings." — Lawrence J. Peter

• “The best way to cheer yourself up is to try to cheer somebody else up.” Mark Twain (merci Todd Walton)

• "I'm for whatever gets you through the night." — Frank Sinatra

Above:  Abraham   Maslow's   "Hierarchy of Needs ," updated (source unknown)

Above: Abraham Maslow's "Hierarchy of Needs," updated (source unknown)

• "The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper." — W.B.Yeats

• Animated gif based on flier spotted by Nick Monsma (per Leah GarchikSF Chronicle)

Advertising Our Way to Happiness!

fizzdom.com john grimes advertising our way to happiness dogs  mini me 1984 apple  kim khardasian  jell-o  woodstock virginaa   

• "Society drives people crazy with lust and calls it advertising." — John Lahr

• "News is what somebody somewhere wants to suppress; all the rest is advertising." — Lord Northcliffe

• "The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads. That sucks." —  Jeff Hammerbacher 

Cartoon above by the late, great B. Kliban

• Cartoon above by the late, great B. Kliban

• Watch hilarious video above using heartfelt stock images assembled into one seamless piece of corporate blather, with great narration (dissolve.com).

• "I saw a subliminal advertising executive, but only for a second." — Steven Wright

• Grazie to Todd Walton for sharing the Norman Douglas quote.