Churchill's Scathing Sense of Humor

fizzdom.com winston churchill england british stafford cripps virtues vices sense of humor

Quotes by Sir Winston “Winnie” Leonard Spencer-Churchill (11.30.1874 - 1.24.1965)
Prime Minister of the United Kingdom 1940-45, 1951-55

source: notable-quotes.com

source: notable-quotes.com

"He occasionally stumbled over the truth, but hastily picked himself up and hurried on as if nothing had happened." (re: Conservative Prime Minister, Stanley Baldwin)

“You can always count on Americans to do the right thing - after they've tried everything else.”

“Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.”

“Never hold discussions with the monkey when the organ grinder is in the room.”

"He has, more than any other man, the gift of compressing the largest amount of words into the smallest amount of thought." (re: Labour Prime Minister Ramsay MacDonald)

“I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”

"If you wanted nothing done, Arthur Balfour was the best man for the task. There was no equal to him." (re: Conservative Prime Minister Arthur Balfour)

With wife, Clementine

With wife, Clementine

“My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years to have breakfast together, but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.”

"In defeat, unbeatable; in victory, unbearable." (re: Field Marshall Viscount Montgomery)

Winston and wife Clementine (left), Lawrence of Arabia (3rd from left)

Winston and wife Clementine (left), Lawrence of Arabia (3rd from left)

"An empty taxi arrived at 10 Downing Street and when the door was opened Attlee got out." (re: Labour Prime Minister Clement Attlee)

“A joke is a very serious thing.”

Bankers Too Big To Jail

• Below: Eric Holder testifies that some corporations may be too big to prosecute.

• As alluded to above, the so-called "Holder memo" written during his earlier tenure at DOJ allows wiggle room for corporate execs to dodge prosecution if that might cause "collateral consequences" to the national or world economy.

• Below: Eric Holder with NBC's Pete Williams (11.2013) in a Bill Moyers & Company video (10.4.14). White-collar criminologist Bill Black, author of "The Best Way To Rob A Bank Is To Own One," calls the DOJ's inaction "the greatest strategic failure in the history of the Department of Justice."

• Below: President Robert Weissman of watchdog group Public Citizen describes the poor track record of Eric Holder's DOJ regarding criminal prosecutions for corporate crimes.

• "(Eric Holder's) tenure has proven unhelpful to the five million victims of mortgage abuses in the US." —David Dayen, the guardian.com

• Below: Watch investigative journalist Matt Taibbi's reporting on the massive rip-off by white collar criminals "no longer appropriate for jail."

• “Friends and former colleagues ... say it would be no surprise if (Holder) returned to the law firm Covington & Burling, where he spent years representing corporate clients." —NPR

• "A large chunk of Covington & Burling’s corporate clients are mega-banks like JPMorgan Chase, Wells Fargo, Citigroup and Bank of AmericaLanny Breuer, who ran the criminal division for Holder’s Justice Department, already returned to work there." —NPR

• "The Wall Street Journal found that the Justice Department only collects around 25% of the fines they impose ... The DoJ’s Inspector General ... found that DoJ deprioritized mortgage fraud, making it the 'lowest-ranked criminal threat' from 2009-2011."—David Dayen, the guardian.com

• Amy Goodman (host of "Democracy Now"): "Who was tougher on corporate America, President Obama or President Bush?"

 Matt Taibbi: "Oh, Bush, hands down. And this is an important point to make, because if you go back to the early 2000s, think about all these high-profile cases: Adelphia, Enron, Tyco, WorldCom, Arthur Andersen. All of these companies were swept up by the Bush Justice Department. And what’s interesting about this is that you can see a progression. If you go back to the savings and loan crisis in the late '80s, which was an enormous fraud problem, but it paled in comparison to the subprime mortgage crisis, we put about 800 people in jail during ... that crisis. You fast-forward 10 or 15 years to the accounting scandals, like Enron and Adelphia and Tyco, we went after the heads of some of those companies. It wasn't as vigorous as the S&L prosecutions, but we at least did it. ... We’re now in a place where we don’t even recognize the importance of keeping up appearances when it comes to making things look equal."

Department of Whining:
"
One would be hard put to identify an Attorney General who so explicitly turned the Justice Department into a political weapon ... The financial settlements that Holder Justice squeezed out of major banks are Exhibit A. Massive fines were imposed on J.P. Morgan Chase and Bank of America explicitly as punishment for the 2008 financial crisis. No matter how unprovable the charges, the banks settled because they couldn't endure the continuing political risk of even more severe punishment. President Obama bragged about punishing financial institutions throughout his 2012 re-election campaign." —Wall Street Journal editorial, September 2014

• Latest news: JPMorgan whistleblower featured in new Rolling Stone article by Matt Taibbi. Watch them interviewed by Chris Hayes on 11.10.14 below:

High Price of Free Speech

Caricatured above: Jack Weinberg holding log; Mario Savio as Cal Man; thx 4 quote David Jouris

Caricatured above: Jack Weinberg holding log; Mario Savio as Cal Man; thx 4 quote David Jouris

• The Free Speech Movement (FSM) was a student protest at UC Berkeley in 1964-65 resisting the ban against on-campus political activities and other archaic restrictions of the repressed post-WW2 era. FSM leaders included Mario Savio, Michael Rossman, Brian Turner, Bettina Aptheker, Steve Weissman, Art Goldberg, Jackie Goldberg —Wikipedia

• The FSM, an outgrowth of civil rights and anti-war activism, marked a revolutionary national shift from paternalistic oversight by college administrators to the current era allowing on-campus political activities, free speech and academic freedom. —Wikipedia

 Source: Thx L.S. and Curtis Mekemson — wandering-through-time-and-place.me

 Source: Thx L.S. and Curtis Mekemson — wandering-through-time-and-place.me

• Below: Major tipping point 10.1.64: Jack Weinberg's arrest for on-campus political activism: manning a table to raise funds for the Congress of Racial Equality. 

“The car was held hostage for 32 hours. With Jack inside, the police car became the platform for a continual rally. Art Goldberg and his sister Jackie, both experienced student activists, were the leaders of the United Front (campus activist coalition), but from the top of the car new people emerged who captured the loyalty of the crowd. Mario Savio, a junior who had transferred from Queens, New York the year before, was soon recognized as the most charismatic speaker.” —Jo Freeman, JoFreeman.com

Jack Weinberg  under arrest. Photo:  Occident,  thx Curtis Mekemson

Jack Weinberg under arrest. Photo: Occident, thx Curtis Mekemson

• "We have a saying in the movement that we don’t trust anybody over 30." —Jack Weinberg (1965 interview with San Francisco Chronicle reporter; many others co-opted the phrase). 

• Below: Mario Savio (12.8.42 - 11.6.96), iconic leader of the FSM, most famous for his revolutionary speech (excerpted here, two months after his speech atop the police car) at UC Berkeley’s Sproul Plaza 12.2.64.

A 1999 report revealed that Savio was followed and investigated by the FBI for more than a decade “because he had emerged as a prominent leader,” although there was not evidence he was a real threat. The FBI justified their pursuit “because they thought he could inspire students to rebel.” (SF Chronicle)

• Below: Overview of the FSM from the doc, "Berkeley in the Sixties"

• "The rights you enjoy on this (Berkeley) campus did not come easily. They had to be won by unrelenting agitation, by disturbing the peace, and much of the credit belongs to a generation of UC students often denigrated for their excesses." —Leon Litwick, activist, UCB professor emeritus of American history and Pulitzer Prize winner, who quit his campus library job in 1965 to protest the UC system's loyalty oath. 

The  five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment  to the U.S. Constitution, shown on wall of the Newseum in Washington, DC. Photo: Cirt/ikipedia

The five freedoms guaranteed by the First Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, shown on wall of the Newseum in Washington, DC. Photo: Cirt/ikipedia

• "You (President Obama) recently expressed concern that frustration in the country is breeding cynicism about democratic government. You need look no further than your own administration for a major source of that frustration – politically driven suppression of news and information about federal agencies. We call on you to take a stand to stop the spin and let the sunshine in. —Joint letter to President Obama from most major professional journalism associations, 7.8.14

• Example: "US Military Banned From Reading (Pulitizer-winning journalist) Glenn Greenwald's New Website" https://firstlook.org/theintercept/ — David Gilbert, International Business Times, 8.21.14

• “When the press is free and every man able to read, all is safe.” —Thomas Jefferson

Thomas Jefferson updated - from Ludwig von Mises Institiute

Thomas Jefferson updated - from Ludwig von Mises Institiute

• “No matter that patriotism is too often the refuge of scoundrels. Dissent, rebellion, and all-around hell-raising remain the true duty of patriots.” —Barbara Ehrenreich, journalist and author (b. 1941) 

• “I may not agree with you, but I will defend to the death your right to make an ass of yourself.” ―Oscar Wilde (paraphrasing Voltaire)

Speaking of the high price of free speech on campus:

• “Thanks to intense bank lobbying, student loans are uniquely punitive. Most can’t be refinanced, which means that people who borrowed at 8 percent in the 1990s are still paying 8 percent (when banks are paying almost zero). Unlike other loans, student loans can’t be discharged in bankruptcy, and a borrower’s salary, Social Security and even disability checks can be garnished.” _Barbara Gerson, SF Chronicle

Wall Street Journal  Graphic

Wall Street Journal Graphic


Powerful Primates Misbehavin'

• First four quotes from  Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's book,   “Off the Sidelines,”  a "part-memoir, part rallying cry for women to get involved in politics." Final "f*ck" quote from Huffpost interview.

• First four quotes from Senator Kirsten Gillibrand's book, “Off the Sidelines,” a "part-memoir, part rallying cry for women to get involved in politics." Final "f*ck" quote from Huffpost interview.

• "It was all statements that were being made by men who were well into their 60s, 70s or 80s," she says. "They had no clue that those are inappropriate things to say to a pregnant woman or a woman who just had a baby or to women in general." — Senator Gillibrand

• Below: Watch Jon Stewart on the Gillibrand revelations and reactions from female journalists:

• “We all had our stories of whom you’d not get in an elevator with and whom you’d protect your young female interns from.” —NBC/MSNBC anchor Andrea Mitchell

• “They know who they are.” —House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi

• "After I had my son three years ago, I got some comments that would blow you away from male senators...talking about getting my figure back and things like that.” —CNN correspondent Dana Bash

• “There’s a lot at stake for men and women who come forward to talk about a hostile environment and workplace harassment. Retaliation is very real, and it could come in the form of losing your job altogether or your boss making life your life terrible by controlling which job assignments you get, and whether you get a promotion or the pay you deserve. It could even take the form of additional sexual harassment. That’s why some people don’t want to pay the price for speaking out.” —Fatima Goss Graves, National Women’s Law Center

• “Up to 60 percent of people who experience harassment in the workplace don’t report it … But the majority happen in low-wage workplaces like the restaurant and agricultural industries, where workers have the fewest protections and can least afford to lose their job. —Fatima Goss Graves


 

What Dog Lovers Know

Above: Poster by Keep Britain Tidy mashed up by Fizzdom

Above: Poster by Keep Britain Tidy mashed up by Fizzdom

• “Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them's making a poop, the other one's carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” —Jerry Seinfeld

grimescartoons.com

grimescartoons.com

DoodyCalls.com

DoodyCalls.com

grimescartoons.com

grimescartoons.com

source: DoodyCalls.com

“Just give me a comfortable couch, a dog, a good book, and a woman. Then if you can get the dog to go somewhere and read the book, I might have a little fun.” —Groucho Marx

DoodyCalls.com

DoodyCalls.com

• “A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself.” —Josh Billings

Blacks Talking Funny Like Whites

Above: Samples from hilarious  Buzzfeed video below

Above: Samples from hilarious Buzzfeed video below

• A different language is a different vision of life. —Federico Fellini

Above:  2010 Census : Blacks as Percent of Population

Above: 2010 Census: Blacks as Percent of Population

• “Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?” ―Chris Rock

1860   C  ensus of Slaves . source: retronaut.com    Slaves outnumbered "frees" in some states and comprised a third of the South's population.

1860 Census of Slaves. source: retronaut.com   
Slaves outnumbered "frees" in some states and comprised a third of the South's population.

• “Race is there. You're tired of hearing about it? Imagine how fucking exhausting it is living it.”
― Jon Stewart

Above: Growth of Hispanics (purple) outpaces  Blacks (red)  and all others.  Whites (blues) decline .

Above: Growth of Hispanics (purple) outpaces Blacks (red) and all others. Whites (blues) decline.

• “Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps.” ―Tiger Woods

• “A lot of shelter dogs are mutts like me.” ―Barack Obama

Above: Increased  polarization  over three decades

Above: Increased polarization over three decades

• "Words are my language." —Patty Warren

Jon Stewart Explains War on ISIS

Islamic State in Iraq Syria ( ISIS ) = Islamic State in Levant ( ISIL )

Below: Enjoy Jon Stewart's dark humor about the dilemma:

Below: Jon Stewart remarks about ISIS as the most feared terrorists in the world:

Below: Michael Scheuer, Former CIA Intelligence Officer, Chief of the bin Laden Issue Station: ISIS wants to lure us in. 

Below Michael Sheurer explains why Americans and Brits are joining the fight with ISIS.

• “The Islamic State (IS) … formerly the Islamic State of Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) … or the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) … is a Sunni jihadist group in the Middle East ... (that) claims religious authority over all Muslims across the world and aspires to bring much of the Muslim-inhabited regions of the world under its political control” —wikipedia

• Under its leader, Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi (b. 1971), ISIS has grown significantly … we've seen figures on the low side of 8,000, on the high side over 50,000. Go figure, they're a loose group. 

• "By the start of this summer (2014) there were as many as 12,000 foreign fighters, from more than 70 countries, fighting for ISIS." —I.C.S.R., King’s College London/NYer

• “al-Baghdadi was held at Camp Bucca as a 'civilian internee' by US Forces-Iraq from February until December 2004, when he was recommended for an 'unconditional release' by a Combined Review and Release Board. A number of newspapers, in contrast, have stated that al-Baghdadi was interned from 2005 to 2009. These reports originated in an interview of Army Col. Kenneth King, the former commander of Camp Bucca, and are not substantiated by US Department of Defense records.” —wikipedia

• “German Chancellor Merkel said Germany would arm the Kurds — a semi-independent ethnic group in northern Iraq – fighting ISIS militants. This is what you could call a big deal: Germany hasn’t gotten involved like this in an ongoing conflict since WWII.” —theSkimm.com 

British PM David Cameron after the UK raised its terror threat level to severe for the first time since January 2010: “ISIL is a greater and deeper threat to our security than we have known before.”

• “ISIS poses a threat well beyond the region. With a united response led by the United States and the broadest possible coalition of nations, the cancer of ISIS will not be allowed to spread to other countries.” —Secretary of State John Kerry 

BBC map June 2014

BBC map June 2014

•  “Saudi King warns ISIS will reach U.S. in 2 months.” —Fox News 9.2.14
• “There are new fears that (ISIS) could aim at ‘soft targets’ within the U.S.” —Fox News 9.2.14

“The only clear lesson from all of this is that no matter the propagandistic script used, U.S. military action in that region virtually never fulfills the stated goals (nor is it intended to do so), and achieves little other than justifying endless military action for its own sake … Does anyone really believe that ‘limited’ bombing of Syria and Iraq in a rage against ISIS will result in anything other than more justifications for military action in that region?” —Glenn Greenwald, The Intercept

• Below: Watch the Marx Brothers rally for war (worth a minute or two):

Your One Wild and Precious Life

Screen shots from Harold Lloyd's 1923 film, "Safety Last"

Screen shots from Harold Lloyd's 1923 film, "Safety Last"

• “The trouble with the rat race is that even if you win you’re still a rat.” —William Sloane Coffin (later quoted by Lily Tomlin)

Art attributed to Banksy

Art attributed to Banksy

• “23 and 69 Are the Happiest Ages”  —headline from London School of Economics 2013

• “The individual's right to pursue his own vision of the best ratio of pleasure to pain (is) utterly sacrosanct.” —David Foster Wallace

Cartoon by Ian Stevenson

Cartoon by Ian Stevenson

grimescartoons.com

grimescartoons.com

• “Just choose a dead-end and chill out till you die.” —Homer Simpson’s career advice to Lisa on "The Simpsons" by Matt Groening

• Below: Mary Oliver reads her short poem that includes the animated phrase above:

Celebrating Labor - Out Our Window

All photos taken from inside Fizzdom's San Francisco studio 

All photos taken from inside Fizzdom's San Francisco studio 

• “If all the cars in the U.S. were placed end to end, it would probably be Labor Day Weekend.” —Doug Larson

• “If any man tells you he loves America, yet hates labor, he is a liar. If any man tells you he trusts America, yet fears labor, he is a fool.” —Abraham Lincoln 

Film crew  sets up a chase scene around our block.

Film crew sets up a chase scene around our block.

• “I think organized labor is a necessary part of democracy. Organized labor is the only way to have fair distribution of wealth.” —Dolores Huerta

• “Of all the American educational system's problems, none is more severe than the academic year beginning before Labor Day.” —P. J. O'Rourke

Emergency responders  deal with a grounded cabin cruiser on SF's Ocean Beach highjacked by drunk man celebrating his 35th birthday. He travelled over 20 miles through the Bay and the Golden Gate before calling it a night. 

Emergency responders deal with a grounded cabin cruiser on SF's Ocean Beach highjacked by drunk man celebrating his 35th birthday. He travelled over 20 miles through the Bay and the Golden Gate before calling it a night. 

• “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” —Ovid  

Source: The Century Foundation tcf.org

Source: The Century Foundation tcf.org

Memory, I Know You're In There

john grimes fizzdom.com grimescartoon.com memory forgetfulness   

• “Forgetfulness is a form of freedom.” ―Khalil Gibran

• “Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that's how dogs spend their lives.” —Sue Murphy

• “I love you when I forget about me.” —Joni Mitchell

• Below: Watch an amusing animation of former Poet Laureate Billy Collins' "Forgetfulness"

• “We forget all too soon the things we thought we could never forget” —Joan Didion

• “People change and forget to tell each other.” —Lillian Hellman

• “The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good things for the first time.” ―Friedrich Nietzsche

thx John Kouletsis

thx John Kouletsis

• “Remember your humanity and forget the rest” —Albert Einstein

• “Can you really forgive if you can't forget?” —Sarah Jessica Parker

• “Cinema should make you forget you are sitting in a theater.” —Roman Polanski

• “Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is.” —Barbara Bush

someeecards.com

someeecards.com

• “Isn't elegance forgetting what one is wearing?”—Yves Saint Laurent

• “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” —Maya Angelou

• “Life must go on; I forget just why.” —Edna St. Vincent Millay

 • “Promise me you'll never forget me because if I thought you would I'd never leave.” —Winnie the Pooh/A. A. Milne